Girls

they're great aren't they? i mean, they have tits AND a vagina - and some of them even have a car. get in. but they do get things muddled up, bless 'em. to take but one example lets talk about lap dancing bars or titty bars as some beastly men chose to call them. one could say they are a facade based on mutual contempt. but not me - i say they are a great opportunity to get some tart, whose sporting slutty clothes your girlfriend would probably never wear in a month of sundays (i have had "mixed" responses to some of my attire and accoutrements based requests - but once or twice they did infact come up trumps (on one occasion to my later discomfort)), anyway, i digress (with a semi)) to show you their vadge for twenty notes. but there's a lot more to it than that. now, most girls are living under the misconception that this is a bad thing. but what they don't realise is that it actually benefits them directly. imagine the scenario: bloke comes back form a night out, possibly a little the worse for wear, a glint in his eye, a bulge in his soggy pants (romance, romance), and his "lucky lady" is pretending to be asleep dreading the cheeky tap-tap on her face with his old chap. but when she finally gives in after half an hour's pleading (just to get some peace), well blow me if she doesn't get the best seeing to she's had in ages. i mean the ride of her life. no-holes-barred jungle fucking that would satisfy even the most discerning gorilla. and when it's all over, she lies back (or gets off her knees, whatever), says "my god - darling - that was AMAZING! what on earth got into to you tonight?", and her animal lover (if he isn't already snoring in his own drool) replies "oh i just love you and want to give you all the pleasure you deserve" when really, if he were being honest, he'd say "well, me and the lads got cunted, went to the new titty bar and went beserk paying all manner of slut to shake their pert arse and shove their snatch in out faces. they were wearing slutty high heels - it was great - really fired me up, got the old blood flowing - and THAT - darling - is the reason you just got fucked to within an inch of your life". now, most men, no matter how drunk, would never actually admit this (if they do, it will only ever be once, believe me), so everyone's a winner. bloke gets much needed tittilation (a reward for all that hunter-gathering), girl gets best seeing to she's had in ages (a reward for all the slaving over a hot stove she's been doing). they go to sleep happy, more shagged out than ever, and wake up with a spring in their step. until she finds the sick on the kitchen floor and the spearmint rhino's vouchers in his back pocket.