Kitchen Roll Complacency

don't you just love the delight of the new roll? "hey, it's a new roll, i'm gonna use 2 sheets - no, fuck it, i'm in a good mood, lets make it four" you think to yourself. oh the joy... you dry your hands with it... you make origami whilst wating for the kettle to boil with it. but that devil may care approach only leeds to premature kitchen roll anxiety, despair even. you get towards the end of the roll. you dry your hands on the tea-towel, you wipe things up with a cloth and get your hands wet. you look longinlgy at the last sheets, wondering if it's one or two left - and if the last one will tear when you pull it off. you dread that moment when you have to use it, making it sopping wet, regreatting your prior slack attituse, and finally build up to the dreaded task of getting the other one out the packet. still, new roll and all that, you can use as many sheets as you like... just make sure you get another pack soon tho, otherwise it's KITCHEN ROLL ARMAGEDDON.

Porn

ive been thinking about this and i reckon girls should be forced to do a gcse in porn. they don't have to do a practical, just complete the course of videos. that way they'd learn some moves, how to be sexy and what dirty comments to make during sex. as opposed to being lazy bitches and leaving it up to you to put the effort in. i know a lot of girls out there know their stuff from experience, but i can tell you a lot of them don't from experience (sadly). it's a bit like that dying for your cause, bypassing judgment day and getting 99 virgins or whatever. i mean, what the fuck do i want with 99 virgins? give me two expreienced sluts and ill be happy. humana humana.

but im not suggesting that all men know their stuff either - but the point is they will all watch porn at some point, thus setting certain expectations - that girls will not meet if they do not watch porn too - and on the whole they don't. well so they claim. but they make a lot of these claims don't they? "no, i never watch porn", "no, i never masturbate", "i never ejoyed blokes going down on me before", "no-ones ever made me cum 5 times during sex before", "i never enjoyed sucking dicks before yours", "no, i've never done anal before, but as it's you, i'm up for trying it". yada yada yada.