Tuna in Sachets

It is convenient. An idea to be commended. However, the next time I get into a food fight, I'd rather go in weilding a tin of tuna than a sachet. Possibly a frozen leg of lamb as well. None of this custard pie rubbish. That's for girls. I hate it when people say "yeah, it was hilarious, we had a proper food fight". But did you? Did you really? Did you batter someone to death with a tin of sweetcorn? Did you stab someone in the eye with a dangerously sharp carrot? Did you rape someone up the arse with a baguette? (Hammered in using the frozen leg of lamb of course) No? Then fuck off. We had proper food fights at my school. You just can't beat a public school education. Ahh happy days. As Wiggins used to say to me as he slammed my dick in the desk "this is the life, eh Timpers?"