Trains

OH MY GOD. I took the train this week. A cosy 8 hours in total. On the way back, every cunt under the sun was in my carriage. There were babies screaming, kids playing computer games making bleepy noises, youths listening to their headphones at death level so you could here a constant "tst-tst" (mind you, in fairness I was probably just jealous that I didn't have some of my own to drown out the hideous noises around me). God it was hurrendous. There was the ubiquitous tosser whose phone rang every 5 minutes with some god-awfull tune at maxumum volume; "HELLO, I'M ON THE TRAIN" he kept saying. There were two drunks yelling at one another at either ends of the carriage; "OI, GARY, GET US ANOTHER LAGER MATE".

But here's the killer: the cunting anouncements were never ending and at concert level. They finished just in time to start again at the next station. I'm not joking, this one bitch must have talked for 10 minutes solidly about where you could and couldn't put your baggage. Then there was the list of stops. Then there was the apology for the late arrival beacause "blah blah blah". Then she went through the stops again. Then, finally it ended. And relax. But oh no, 5 seconds later "bing bong" anounced the arrival of some cunt claiming to be the vice president of catering or something explaining, at length, about the buffet arrangements. Then, another 5 seconds on, ANOTHER CUNTING "bing bong". We were shortly to arrive at th enext station just in time TO START THE WHOLE FUCKING PROCESS over again. Honestly, I read 32 pages of my book in the whole 8 hour journey.